I have a friend who became an unexpected single mom a few years ago. She is the only one I know and can I just say, my hat is off to you and to all single parents out there. Once a week, my husband teaches class leaving me to handle both kids all alone. Maybe it is the newness of having a baby again, but let me tell you...I am starting to believe what some folks say 'you don't really know what parenting is like until you have two kids.' I couldn't imagine handling ever situation always on your own. I am thankful for my husband and now think my friend and all those like her are superheros.
Last night was the dreaded Tuesday night. I don't mind being alone with the kids during the day, but at night time, it is like everything gets harder. Night time is when The Girl gets fussy. Night time is when The Boy gets clingy. Put those two things together and you have one frazzled momma. I will say that things are getting a little easier every week. My patience is getting better with The Boy. He is still adjusting to having to share my affections and it was very frustrating at first. I just keep reminding myself that while he is older than his age in many ways, emotionally, he is still 3 1/2 and when he says missing his momma makes the shadows scare him, he really means it. That isn't just a ploy to stay up longer.
The Girl was awake for almost 5 hours straight last night. I don't know if she had gas or what, but she wouldn't let me put her down and she wouldn't close her eyes. The Boy was sad and missed me and actually cried very hard last night because I couldn't lay with him in his bed. It broke my heart. When The Husband got home last night, I had to refrain from being angry at him for leaving me to handle the parenting on my own. It isn't his fault...he is working to provide for our family. Plus, I am not really letting him do much else outside of work, so I should let work be okay, right? I just keep telling myself that things get better after a few months. The Girl will get on a schedule and The Boy will get used to The Girl. I will say, however, that there is a part of me that worries that it won't get a little easier. That is who I am a worrier...it can't be good for my digestive system.
So, the theory that once you have had a child, you know exactly what your doing has definitely gone out the window for this family. I have been at the doctor's office twice this week dealing with belly button issues. The Boy has always been advanced and his belly button was no exception. His umbilical stump fell off within one week of being born and a beautiful belly button was left behind. The Girl is making it hard. While her stump fell off at two weeks, it was not healed. It was actually quite disgusting. I called the doc, they had me come in and thank goodness, it wasn't infected, just yucky. They put silver nitrate on the unhealed portion (that is the stuff that makes the stump turn black...it also turns all clothing and skin that touches it black FYI) and sent us home.
The next day, we were back at the doctor's office again because The Girl's belly button area was oozy again. Apparently, scar tissue is making things difficult. The doc doesn't think the area will get infected. Silver nitrate was again added and we were sent home.
Today, while not as gross as yesterday, The Girl's belly button still isn't looking its best. I just keep telling myself that the doctor said there is nothing to worry about, yet I am still worried. It is irrational, but I blame that on new mother syndrome. After all this crazy-madness, all I know is that when she approaches me at age 15 wanting to get her belly button pierced, I will show her pictures and share with her the torment that her newborn belly button provided and hopefully that will sway her from begging and then getting grounded because she wouldn't listen to her wise old mother.
I walked outside today to put a little something in the mail and low and behold it was cool and smelled, dare I say it, like Fall! I hate to jump the gun, but it was only 62 degrees today and the smell of leaves and crisp Autumn air were undeniable. Fall is my favorite season and part of the reason (in my mind) we moved back to Kentucky from Dallas. According to the paper today, it was 90 degrees in Dallas. I will take 60 and cool any day.
I am hoping that we still get to do some of our Fall traditions this year with The Girl being so little. Can you believe she will already be two weeks old tomorrow? I can't believe it. Every year we go pick pumpkins, attend art festivals, etc. I guess there is no harm in taking her while she is so little. I worry, of course, about cold and flu season. No one will ever be able to touch my child. All of that of course will go out the window when she goes to daycare in November/December. Anyone want to give me a million dollars so I can stay home?
I like to do a new fun fall treat for the family every year. Any suggestions out there?
I guess there is a reason why new moms don't remember the first week of a baby's life all that clearly...I had truly forgotten how hard it was with The Boy. Absence of memory makes it so you will do it again without hesitation. Little Lorelai is an angel, but between nursing and the baby blues and just being tired...it is hard. Totally worth it, but hard.
The Boy is hanging in there like a trooper. He is working hard to adjust sharing his time with Momma and Daddy. I have been trying really hard to be the one to go through his nighttime ritual with him and so far, The Girl has allowed for that to happen. He is super sweet to his baby sister. Everyone keeps telling us to watch out for him though, apparently preschoolers can be a little passive aggressive with younger siblings. We haven't seen it yet, but maybe it is only a matter of time. I am hoping to be able to balance time with the both of them so that neither one feels neglected. It is hard to see how that is going to work for the first month, but all you can do it try right?
The Husband and I have had conversations about how women have gotten the short end of the stick in some ways. He says they haven't, after all we get the experience of carrying the baby, nursing and that maternal bond thing he doesn't understand. The unfair thing is we also get childbirth pains, baby blues, hot flashes, nursing all hours leading to sore nipples and lack of sleep. Those things were supposed to be our "plight" because of Adam and Eve. Adam got to toil in work and Eve got childbirth, etc. All I have to say is my husband doesn't "toil" in his work like in the Old Testament and nowadays, I work too. Where is the fairness in that? I guess Eve did eat the apple, but Adam knew to stop her.
Here is a little picture of The Boy with The Girl. Sore nipples await.