I am about 2 1/2 weeks away from spending 6 nights away from my little one and the anticipation and anxiety surrounding that thought just builds and builds as each day goes by, tick-tock. I have never been away from him for that long, longest has been two nights. I shouldn't freak out too much since he will be with the Husband the whole time, but I am freaking out a little more inside everyday.
This is the constant battle in my head, what do I miss when I am not there vs. would I be the best mom every day if I were staying at home? I don't know what I am thinking, it isn't like he is going to find a cure for cancer while I am out in the middle of nowhere with 560 college students. But, it is more than about what he is doing. I wonder if he is missing out on something as a child because I work or because I am not with him 99% of the time. Is he going to turn out "wrong" because I am not there with him? Now, he seems fine, but am I setting him up for a disasterous, resentful life down the road. Will I every here from someone, someday, "Well, if you were at home with the Boy..."
I haven't heard that yet, and the Boy seems to be very well adjusted, happy and in my opinion smart, but the thought just eats at me. I know many working moms...not too many since the move to be closer to friends and family, but a few and their kids of all ages are turning out fine. This trip is part of my job, a job that I like overall. Everyone keeps telling me the time will fly by, the Boy will hardly notice. He may not notice, but I do.
One week in!
11 months ago