Thursday, July 12, 2007

Signs of Degeneration

I have recenlty discovered what I can only identify as an age spot on my hand. There it sits inbetween by thumb and pointer finger of my left hand staring at me as I type. I know I just recently turned 30, but isn't it a little early to be seeing age spots? That coupled with the premature graying of my hair make me wonder if I am aging too quickly in a purely cosmetic sense.

I have come to the realization recently though that I don't feel old exactly in mind and spirit. I don't see a whole lot different about me now versus when I was 23 and newly married. I have also come to realize that I am happy to be where I am now compared to other stages in my life. I have found that marriage and motherhood suit me and make me feel comfortable with myself and my life choices and experiences. I have a better understanding of my values, my faith and what I believe. That makes me happy.

I have also come to realize even though I sometimes feel like life is going by so slow, there are days when it goes by fast and my time with my friends and family is limited. You don't think about it when you are in your late 20s and early 30s, but as my preacher in Dallas used to say, growing old is just the slowest way to die. I have learned in the last year or so that your life can change in a blink of an eye, and now, I think about that daily. It makes me ask myself what I have done today that makes a difference. Some days I don't have a real good answer, but most days I do. And those "make a difference" moments aren't by anyone's standard monumental, but they matter to me and to those with whom I interact. Am I being a good friend, mother, wife...do I try to make someone's day everyday? When I am old and whithered (God willing) will I look back at my life and say, "Wow, what an accomplishment!" Today, I think so.

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